Real estate agent isn't a real pro

LW1--You have to ask??

LW2--Please tell me you didn't bring this up, so to speak, in bed......

LW3--Good, but wordy. What's wrong with a simple "no, thank you" and a smile?

LW1 Real estate agents as relatives can be really something else. We have one in the family, and he thinks we all owe him our business...even he if lives in another state. He wants the referral! Since the realtors in my state typically pay the referral fee back to the seller if there is no referral (because you in essence self referred is how it was explained to me) any referral fee my relative five states away might collect would come right out of my pocket. No matter, my realtor relative thinks I ought to pay HIM sometihng because I am moving. What a crock. He has done this to many of my relations, and it has caused a real rift in some parts of the family. We got out of it by not moving after all.

LW2: How much more dumb could you have been than to TELL her about this? Really!

LW3: Good for you. I'd never ask people at work to buy any of the thousands of things I end up "selling" (to myself) for the schools, and I never buy anything either. I just say I already bought from that fundraiser...from my own kids. I did, once, sell pies because they were from a really great place locally known and once I mentioned it people were actually interested, but that was way too hard, carting around those pies at work, and anyway, I think it is against the rules....

It's "Don't Shoot Yourself in the Foot Day"

LW1: It's your house and you need to sell it. It's nothing personal.

LW2: He has a patient, understanding girlfriend who didn't
cast him aside for admitting he still thinks about the past
girl. Wouldn't it be better to imagine that "Exie" is probably
happily married and that it's best not to disturb her and her
new life wherever they are?

LW2- When was the terrible time for disclosure? Were you in the middle of a (ahem) romantic moment and called her by your old girlfriend's name? It's all over, Matt. Might as well say goodbye now.

LW1: Why take her personally? It's your house. You need it
sold. You hired someone competent.

LW2: Wouldn't it be better to realize that the "ex" is probably
in a happy relationship of her own and put more of you energies
into valuing the girl you have?

L1: Nancy, the letter writer: If you really had to wonder about this, then you are too stupid to BREATHE, let alone own a home! Did you just want to see your first name in print? There were easier ways to go about that.(More importantly, Amy is a little brain dead for thinking anyone would want to read it in print.)

L2: Why on earth would you tell your girlfriend, likely at a moment of sexual activity/intimacy (given the thinly veiled hints in the letter)? You need more relationships under your belt. No pun intended.

L3: Yes, another poor horse gets yanked out of its grave to get beaten some more.

Why on earth was my post deleted? What the heck? HEre we go again, then:

L1: This letter writer has no business breathing, let alone owning a home, if she is so lacking in intellect that she has to ask Amy such a stupid question. And shame on Amy for thinking it deserved to make it into the column. She is rewarding dumb letter writers. Oh, wait, maybe that's Amy's niche!

L2: Keep your mouth shut. When she "innocently" asks you whether you fantasize about other women, lie and tell her "No." Get some more relationships under your belt (ha ha) and you'll be a wiser man for it.

L3: Who dragged the horse out of its grave for more beatings?

LW1- agreed, what the heck is this letter? There is absolutely zero issue here. She already knew her answer, but just wanted to tattle on her acqaintance's fancied "dirty looks". Come on.

Misty, if these letters are the cream of the crop, imagine what we don't get to see!

LW1: If it bothers the LW that she's getting these "looks" (she's writing obviously it does), just go up and ask the woman, "I'm feeling that there is some problem between us, is there?" Most likely she'll say no. If she says she's disappointed that you didn't list with her -- say "it's not personal but business. I don't like to mix my business with personal relationships".

LW2: You are either really young or very inexperienced. Go see a counsellor before you screw up more relationships.

LW3: Good for you! I personally try to buy from the kids selling stuff when I can, but minimal, although I don't feel I have to and if I did I probably wouldn't.

Angela wrote:

Okay, weird. Sorry for the double posts, but this site is whacked out of its mind more than Sarah Palin!

Hey! HEy! HEY! watch it.....

LW1: Selling your most precious asset involves insuring you have a competent professional. Feelings have to be left at the curb; this is the most valuable asset most people have, and it's not something that friendships can enter into.

When I sold my house a year and a half ago, had I not chosen the agent recommended to me by my mortgage broker, I'd have had that house at least an additional 5 - 7 months. I chose her over 5 different acquaintances who were all 'newly licensed real estate professionals'.

liner wrote:

<quoted text>
Hey! HEy! HEY! watch it.....

Heh. Sorry. Couldn't resist. I'll do my best to be good from now on. ;)

liner wrote:

<quoted text>
Hey! HEy! HEY! watch it.....

How can we avoid "it" when "its" everywhere?

Just think... no more ads tomorrow. I stuck to public TV this weekend and it was wonderful (no cable).

I am an honest real estate agent. I few years ago I sold an apt to some young kids. By preventing them from making a very stupid move, I clearly saved them $10,000 which they and the parents of both thanked me for many times. In spite of this, they sold 3 years later and hired "a friend" who knew nothing! PS, it took them months to sell (in a good sellers market) at a lower than market price. When one of the agents in my office showed the place, she asked them straight out:"Why didnt you hire xxx since he did such a good thing for you when you bought?" their response: "Our friend went into Real estate"
PS: There is NO loyalty in my business!

Garth Algar wrote:

I'd expect the girlfriend to get over the "initial shock" of his revelation and support the guy through the transition. Isn't that what women would expect from a man if the roles were reversed. Also, she should throw in a lot of BJ therapy to make him forget his past.

I just feel, not as a woman but as a person, that you should be smart enough, emotionally, to realize which emotions need to be shared and which don't. Thoughts of an ex at inappropriate times don't, in my opinion, need to be shared.

That having been said, as this guy did share it, and as he seems sincere in not intending anything by it, now his SO needs to just get over it.

Bella wrote:

<quoted text>
I just feel, not as a woman but as a person, that you should be smart enough, emotionally, to realize which emotions need to be shared and which don't. Thoughts of an ex at inappropriate times don't, in my opinion, need to be shared.
That having been said, as this guy did share it, and as he seems sincere in not intending anything by it, now his SO needs to just get over it.

Agreed. And it is NOT a gender thing. No relationship--and I mean NO relationship--is 100% open and honest. No marriage could withstand 100% honesty and openness all the time.

Garth Algar wrote:

WOW! I love reading all the posts from females to LW2 who in so many words say "keep your mouth shut." So much for wanting an honest and open relationship, huh? The guy admits his bad timing and his letter appears to be truly sincere so I'd expect the girlfriend to get over the "initial shock" of his revelation and support the guy through the transition. Isn't that what women would expect from a man if the roles were reversed. Also, she should throw in a lot of BJ therapy to make him forget his past.

There's honesty and then there is brutal honesty. Brutality has no place in any relationship. Your significant other doesn't need to know EVERYTHING. Really they don't.

In the town I live in, the real estate agents are pretty cut-throat with each other. I can think of 3 women agents that I would not buy anything from because they are ruthless in their sales tactics and aren't what you'd call nice people in any capacity. However, the good thing is that word does get around. When I bought my house 5 years ago, I had a nasty encounter with a woman real estate agent whose husband sold insurance. I went to see him about house insurance and she proceeded to run down my house and my choice of agent simply because I didn't go through her. I later called her husband to tell him why I wouldn't be buying insurance from him. I found a better insurance rate elsewhere anyway. It doesn't pay to make snide remarks when you are in the real estate business. There are just too many agents in our town for anyone to tolerate that.

LW2 should have kept his mouth shut if he didn't want his girlfriend to be upset or run from him. I believe in honesty and I think a lot of relationships lack that element. But, in this instance, his ex & he had been apart for 5 years. Was he seriously still pining away for her after that long? If so, then he has worse problems than his current girlfriend being upset. Most women don't want to be 2nd place, even if there has been no cheating going on. If he's still emotionally attached to the ex, then he is not dating material for the current one. His hard lesson will be that he might not get this one back should he change his mind again later. One thing that seems certain to me is that with dating and especially with online dating, men do not seem to know what they want. Fickle would not begin to describe the uncertainty I've seen in men who might have someone great but can never make a decision let alone a commitment to anyone. I hope his girl finds someone more suitable for her.

With LW3, all you really need to do is glance at the brochure and then say that you really don't need anything. The fact that you might not have the cash or might not want to spend the cash is something you can divulge or not. But, you are not obligated to elaborate.